It’s my birthday. Although a little voice inside me is screaming loud ‘girl it’s your freaking birthday, party time!’ it’s really confronting. I would like to act Lien Degol-ish, and simply not mention how old I am exactly, but lot’s of people know already so that ship has sailed. On June 15 I update my Facebook status with a reference to turning 39, as the day I got 40 was also the day I started to realize that despite the fact that age is just a number -which is one of my categories on THIS IS PEGGY- that number does count for many women.

When you are young, life seems wonderful. You are pretty, have ambition, your jawline is still visible and your eyelids are tight. However most of the times you’re not happy with what you see in the mirror and when your mom or boyfriend tells you you’re pretty you shake your head and say no. Sweet girls I have a message for you. Embrace your youth, feel pretty and play with makeup and clothes. Develop yourself into a beautiful young woman that most of all feels good and secure about herself.

Around the age of 26…

getting older, This Is Peggy, personal, aging

 

I am one of those women who was pretty when young. I’m not ashamed to say that. I wasn’t the prettiest of all, my God no, there were so many girls more beautiful than me, taller, slimmer, with perfect features, but I was pretty. And it’s only now at the age of 45 that I am able to admit that.

Getting fysically older is an enormous struggle for me. I’m constantly on the search for the perfect eye cream, lifting serum and I try to run as often as I can. I am changing so much. My beautiful boobs are becoming victims of gravity, not to mention my eyelids and for crying out loud where did my sexy full mouth go? My belly and lazy eye have always been my complexes but now I would almost die to get them back the way they looked like when I was 25.  My size 8 days are over, I can’t believe it came to that, what happened?  Life. That’s what happened.

Around the age of 36…

getting older, This Is Peggy, personal, aging

I decided to live. To not go to the gym 7 on 7 again, to eat proper food and to enjoy. Because that’s what I did, I barely ate, I sported like crazy and I made sure I always got my beauty sleep. In a way I blame myself for the way my body looks now, I have kind of let myself go, wasn’t hard enough on myself and not determinated enough.

Around the age of 40…

getting older, This Is Peggy, personal, aging

I try to make the best of it. I don’t dress like a middle aged boring woman, at least I don’t think so, I take good care of my skin, I use makeup -hell yes!- and I’m not ashamed to admit that I have a yearly appointment for some fillers. When I was young my mother always told me that with age comes wisdom, and I am starting to see that mom was right. I know I can’t compete with 25 years olds anymore, I know that fysically getting older is part of life and is normal, I know I won’t look as flawless as Sharon Stone without the same Dior photoshop treatment. But still, my insecurities are standing in the way and I continue struggling. Getting fysically older sucks, at least for me.

Now…

getting older, This Is Peggy, personal, aging

But sweeties…today is my birthday! I am now officially a middle aged woman. And I am a generous, thoughtful, helpful, passionate, open-minded, loving, mostly optimistic woman. If I would have to label that, beautiful would be underrated. Today I’m making myself a promise, I am going to try to love myself. And when I’m old and wise, I will take my 7th pair of glasses and read this post again. And smile. Because I’m beautiful.

Grow gracefully old-er,
Peggy

More Peggy? Follow me on Facebook and Instagram!

 

Peggy Timmermans
Written by Peggy Timmermans